Marriage Affairs:SIGNS OF IMMATURITY IN MARRIAGE FOR MEN:

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Really,do you quite agree with it that some men are immature in their marital affairs? If you don’t think so,then maybe some of this points will prove you wrong !!

1) Rejecting food when there’s an issue: Oga husband, you gave your wife money for food and after it was prepared you refused to eat because you dey vex. It’s one of the greatest signs of immaturity, it’s time to grow up!
You should not even abandon your home for any reason, you could go somewhere when angry but ensure that you don’t allow it to linger unnecessarily because that is enough for the devil to build on.

2) Telling your wife severally that you are the head: May I let you know that even when your wife disobeys/ disrespect you she still knows that you are the head. You need not shout or scream it daily. It’s important for you to know when and how to be firm and put your feet down over issues, however don’t become a nagging husband just to prove that you are the head.

3) Issuing threats: beating, verbally abusing your wife, issuing threats of divorce or bragging about marrying another wife does not make you a man. Your strength is in your ability to tame your tongue and control your fist. When she is acting her “childish woman” part, play the “matured man.”

4) Reporting your wife to friends and family: When your wife offends you, correct and talk things through. You don’t have to tell everyone about her mistakes, that will paint her black and sell her cheap such that you will not be able to redeem her back.

5) Keeping malice: is it not funny to know that some men keep malice? Some of them even nag, criticize, abuse and call their wives names in public. It may make you look like a “big boy” who’s in control but you are not going to gain anything good from it, your home will only be a den of insults and confrontations.

6) Not helping with house chores: I must say here that it is the sole responsibility of a woman to tend and manage a home. However, it’s not a bad thing if a man lends a helping hand when necessary.

“Watching football with newspaper in your hand every evening, not caring how stressful the house chores are will only increase the pressure on your wife and if you truly care you’ll help, just checking on her while busy could encourage and sooth her, this also makes you a good example to the kids especially the boys. Some men don’t even say “thank You” to their wives after eating, all they do is compare her with other women. It’s a shame that after having 3-4kids some men cannot change a simple diaper or prepare cereal.

“Lastly, every man should have a church/mosque where his family is watered and raised spiritually. This makes you accountable, it’s immaturity and dangerous to be a sheep without a shepherd. As you learn and grow in the right fold, you’ll be able to take the lead as the head of the home…..”

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Men’s Corner:Top Eight Reasons Men Fall Out of Love

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You’ve lost that lovin’ feeling. Now, it’s  gone, gone, gone. Sometimes a man wakes up to find that it is gone. He’s no longer in love. Here are eight of the most common reasons why.

1.He doesn’t sense that you’re in his corner.

Men place a very high value on loyalty. He needs to know that you’re in his corner – his foxhole. When the bullets are flying overhead and life is tough, he needs a woman who has his back. If he’s pulling away and lost that loving feeling, it could be because he feels that during important times you weren’t the loyal partner he needs.

2.One Word: Incompatibility

Over time compatibility matters in a relationship. It is possible for some period of weeks or months to paper over poor compatibility. You just do things you both love, or don’t talk about certain topics, or focus on fun and hide certain sides of your personality. It can make two people seem perfect together. But eventually, life and reality must come calling. The fact that he is a spender and you’re a saver starts to matter. The fact that he is religious and you aren’t starts to matter. All the significant differences start to present themselves and often one or both partners will just emotionally throw up their hands and say, “I’m not into this relationship anymore.”

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3.You require a great deal of maintenance.

I often see on the eHarmony Advice boards comments from women like, “Yes, I’m high maintenance, and I’m worth it.” My instant thought when I see that is, “No, you’re not worth it. No one is.” If you’re a real high maintenance woman, most normal men will wonder if they want to pull a life sentence working to make you happy. And those who think that your demanding ways won’t matter typically feel differently after some months or years. Working so hard to get the approval of a partner can make him lose that loving feeling.

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4.He stops feeling admired.

Many therapists and psychologists have written about how women desire to be cherished and men desire to be admired. For some reason the notion that a woman might admire her man is off-putting to some women. But it is so important to his attraction. A man who senses that he cannot earn your admiration slowly starts to lose interest in the relationship.

5.You’re the face of bad news.

It happens over time. It happens subconsciously. If every time you see your guy you’re holding bad news, he starts to associate you with bad news. Does that sound fair? It’s not fair, but it’s a real problem that can cause him to have less enthusiasm for the relationship. It’s unrealistic to avoid sharing important and unpleasant news, but it’s vital that you proactively take measures to not become the face of bad news. Talk about the best times to share this kind of information and create special times, like dinner, when bad grades, late mortgages, and hostile bosses are verboten.

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6.Business in the front. Business in the back.

If you’re in a relationship and you’re sharing any of the responsibilities of life (i.e. money, children, a home), it’s easy for your couple’s interaction to be reduced to a series of business conversations. You are business partners, there’s no changing that, but the key is being mindful of when you talk business and when you just relax and enjoy each other. It’s hard to be passionately in love with a person who is always talking about big, serious, important things. Make time for fun and playful conversation to create balance in the relationship.

7.He sees you more as a mom and less as a lover.

Most of the items on this list give you strategies for changing your behavior to help keep your partner engaged. Not this one. There are men who were taught that certain kinds of women are moms and certain kinds of women are lovers. They have a very difficult time reconciling the two. If you have a guy that feels less attracted to you because of your role as a mom, he’s got some work to do. It’s probably best handled by a professional counselor. Of course he sees you more as a mom and less as a lover.
.Of course, it’s important that a woman balance her roles of wife and mom, but if you are and he’s still feeling less loving, it’s his issue to fix.

8.Your relationship wasn’t properly rooted.

If the relationship with your guy started with a drunken hook-up, moved on to a casual but intense sexual connection, had a short pause in the land of “I love you”, and is now feeling distant and uncoupled, maybe your “relationship” was never what you thought. Feelings of infatuation are strong, and can make us think, “Wow. This is real love!” But without some underpinning of compatibility, people just tend to lose interest and drift apart.

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By eharmony Staff

Relationships: Sharing Your Love Story!

Love they say is a beautiful feeling and can simply happen in the most unusual of places,hope you do agree with me?
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I’ve had cause to meet so many lovers and couples who had one or two wonderful stories of how and where they met their spouses and hearthrobs,believe me its really romantic to hear.

Lady Cynthia has this brief story to tell!

“Really this word called LOVE is unfathomable and incomprehensible. I met my husband of seven years now at the busstop. That fateday day, I was at the park as early as 5.30am to get a bus to my office somewhere Lekki,Lagos State and by 6.15am i was yet to get one as there was scarcity of fuel that period. I was getting agitated and frustrated because i was supposed to resume by 7am and i still have the heavy traffic to contend with.

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When all hope of getting a bus had failed,i resigned to my fate and started walking down the road,hoping for a miracle. Suddenly a bus stopped behind me and a young man looking impecable on his black suit beckoned on me to come. Wonderingly,i stepped closer and he offered to share his seat in the bus with me after enquiring where i was heading to. Honestly,i was pleasantly suprised but declined as the passengers were already protesting . Quietly, he came down from the bus and asked me to take over his seat so that he will get another one. Wooooow! I was more than suprised . While seating down and expressing my graritude to him,he simply said:” I dont know why i did this though am also late but i believe its destiny”. He gave me his complimentary card as the bus zoomed off.

Hmmmmmm,I kept on thinking about the incident and also about him all through that day and later in the evening, when i called him to express my gratitude, he simply asked me out.

A year into the relationship he proposed to me and i said YES because he was the most sweetest,nicest and romantic guy i’ve ever met in my life. Precisely two years and six months later we got married. I cant help but thank God for my husband and our lovely twins:two baby boys after seven years of blissful Marriage. We are much more comfortable now with our own house and cars and better job all to God’s glory. Anytime i remembered how and where we meet,i knew its destiny at work” Mrs.Cynthia Ibe,Lagos State.
Hmmmmmm really touching Indeed!

Do you have a love story for publication ? Share it with us at:vipgraciousgrace48@gmail.com .

Comments on this topic is highly welcomed!

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R.I.P:Nigerian Man Meets Untimely Death After Having A Row With Wife

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A Nigerian man was killed on a motorway after getting out of a car on the way to the airport following a row with his wife over their credit card.

Nahinmu Nicholas had stormed out of the Ford Focus with his suitcases, saying he was going to hitch-hike to Heathrow, but was knocked down by a lorry in the morning darkness.

His wife had pulled over on what they both thought was the hard shoulder of the M25, not realising that it was a live lane because of roadworks. A coroner was told that lorry driver Martin Hook was unable to avoid Mr Nicholas as he suddenly caught sight of him.

His 13-tonne bread lorry also struck the couple’s car in the accident just six minutes after they had stopped on the clockwise carriageway of the M25 at junction 6 for Godstone, Surrey, at around 4.30am on April 10.

Florence Olokun-Ola told the inquest in Woking, Surrey, that her husband was going to Nigeria alone for 12 days and that the fight started because she wanted their bank card while he was away. ‘The argument became very aggressive and his voice changed,’ she added.

Mrs Olokun-Ola, who had earlier told how financial problems had caused tension in their relationship, said she no longer felt comfortable driving and pulled over to what she thought was the hard shoulder.

She added: ‘He took off his seat belt. As soon as the car stopped he took the keys and opened the boot and took out his luggage. He put it by the crash barrier.’

In an attempt to get her husband back in the car Mrs Olokun-Ola drove forward a bit, but he started to walk back down the carriageway trying to thumb a lift.

Then she felt the force of the collision as the lorry struck the rear of her car.

‘I got out the car and at first I was angry because he didn’t come running over to see if I was okay,’ she said. She then discovered her husband’s body and ran back to the car to dial 999.

Mr Hook said he was travelling through the roadworks at 50mph. ‘The next thing I knew was there was a dark shadow in front of me,’ he added. ‘I turned straight away to the centre of the carriageway.’

A post-mortem examination concluded that Mr Nicholas died as a result of severe head injuries.

Accident reconstruction officer PC Dominic Gibson said that the stretch of the M25 where the accident happened was unlit. He said there were signs warning that the hard shoulder was now a live lane.

Assistant Surrey Coroner Michael Burgess recorded a verdict that Mr Nicholas, of Dartford, Kent, died as a result of a road traffic collision.

Culled from DailyMail

Relationship Matters: Things He Wants To Hear You Say In Béd

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For a man, nothing is séxier than a woman who is loud in bed and participates in a little dirty talk. Below are five things your man is dying to hear you mouth off about.
Him
Men want to know that you’re not visualizing someone else when you’re with them or just phoning it in, so although it may seem basic, saying (or screaming out) his name in béd is a good way to ease into dirty talk. Punctuate it with a few “ooohs” and moans and it will be more than enough to get him going.

The Action
If you’re being a tad quiet, many men will take the initiative and let you know what they’d like to hear by peppering you with questions, such as “What am I doing to you?” and “How does that feel?”
In this case, simply describing the mise en scène and how you feel will suffice. However, don’t feel like obligated to use cuss words if it’s not your style. Instead, take a cue from romance novels and utilize under-used verbs like “pulse,” “swell,” and “throb.”

Your Fantasies
Nothing counts when it’s said in between the sheets, so if you’re feeling confident, why not seize the opportunity and tell him all of your craziest fantasies and dreams? If the thought leaves you tongue-tied, try practicing in front of a mirror – especially the particularly naughty parts – until you are able to say them without feeling embarrassed or laughing.

Stock Dirty Phrases
Sometimes just having séx is intimate enough, and the idea of pouring out all of your deepest desires, especially in a new relationship, is too much. However, you don’t want to be mute. For those times, any of the following stock séxy phrases will work:
“Oh, yeah, right there!”
“That feels amazing”
“Don’t stop, harder”
“I want you so bad”
“Give it to me!”
“You animal!”

Get Creative
Men can be just as insecure as women; so sometimes a little vocal encouragement is all that’s needed to let them know that you are enjoying what they’re doing. Sometimes a few soft purrs can be just as effective as a well-rehearsed speech, so don’t be afraid to get creative. Whatever you do to cheer lead them along will make your bédroom romp all the more exciting.

Love is beautiful:Weekday Romantic idea/tips for lovers! Try this out!! Part 1

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This is another weekday and here are some of the wonderful romantic tips that you can try out for that glowing love affair!!
Meanwhile check this up as a sequel: https://graciousgracegardens.wordpress.com/2013/06/17/bringing-back-the-sparks-in-your-relationship/

1.Dress each other / Undress each other.  .
2. Go up to the top of a building in a large city
3. Kiss every part of their body.
4. Hold her with hands inside the back of her shirt.
5. Sleep together. (Actually sleep with each other…not sex)
6. Dress for a formal party, and then walk down the streets singing love songs.
7. Sit and talk in just underwear.
8. Buy gifts/flowers for each other.
9. Find a dark, romantic bistro with great coffees and desserts, or an independent book store that encourages browsing.
10. Find out their favorite cologne or perfume and wear it every time you’re together.
11. Watch the sunset together.
12. Take showers together.
13. Back rubs and massages.
14. Hike to the top of a mountain for a picnic.
15. Take a rowboat out on a lake at sunset.
16. Kiss at every chance you get.
17. Whisper to each other.
18. Cook for each other.
19. Hide a teeny, tiny gift somewhere on your body and make him find it.
20. Listen to classical music and cuddle in the dark or with blacklight.
21. Wear his clothes.
22. Find a nice secluded place to lie and watch the stars.
23. Incense/candles/oils/blacklights and music make for great cuddling/sex.
24. Walking in the rain and kissing
25. Don’t wear underwear and let them find out.
26. Kinky is bad…Blindfolds are good.
27. Lightly kiss their collarbone and their jawbone just below the ear, then whisper I love you.
28. Bubble baths.
29. Go for a long walk down the beach at midnight.
30. Find a rarely-used corner deep in the stacks of your library. Blow the dust off some musty old volume and read it aloud together. Steal a few hot kisses.
31. Write poetry for each other.
32. Kiss and smell her hair.
33. Explore a wild and scenic place you’ve always wanted to check out.
34. Say I love you, only when you mean it and make sure they know you mean it.
35. Give random gifts of flowers, candy, poetry etc.
36. Tell her that she’s the only girl you ever want. Don’t lie.
37. Spend every second possible together.
38. Tell her that she doesn’t have to do anything she doesn’t want to. And mean it.
39. Ask him/her to pick a number between 1 and 50, then reward him with that number of kisses.
40. Very lightly push up her chin, look into her eyes, tell her you love her, and kiss her lightly.
41. Talk to each other using only body language and your eyes.
42. When in public, only flirt with each other.
43. Walk behind her and put your hands in her front pockets.
44. Put love notes in their pockets when they aren’t looking.
45. Pretend you’ve just won the lottery. “Shop” for your dream furnishings in elegant craft galleries, jewelry stores, and similar locales.
46. Cuddle together under a full moon on a clear night.
47. Keep one of her bras somewhere where you see it everyday.
48. Sing to each other.
49. Read to each other.
50. Walk in the beach together. Trace out the shape of a large love heart in the sand. Sit inside the heart and cuddle your partner as you watch the sun go down.
From KA