His love and passion for his kids was something that had endeared me to him and his frankness when it comes to the issues of his relationship and of course remarrying is always quite amazing!

Barr.Emeka Ugwuonye,a seasoned human right activist and law practictioner had through this medium on his facebook wall expressed his innermost self in all honesty. Hear Him:

“Of course, one of the most frequently avoided question from my friends and relatives is when I am going to get married again. It is a question frequently avoided. But I still know it is there on the minds of those close to me. And sometimes, I just wish they could ask, rather than pretend they are not thinking about it.

Today, I got into an inbox with a very good friend of mine and a former classmate. He is a fine chap and has done quite well for himself. He has married before too in Europe and has a child that is either a teenager or close to being a teenager. He got married (again) in Nigeria in April of this year.

When I heard about his wedding, I was happy for him but I felt that someone in my camp had left me behind. But I also wondered how my friend managed to escape from the addiction of being befriended by many beautiful women, and to say goodbye to all those nice girls. In other words, I wondered how he managed to make the decision. I said this because like me, I knew he would not cheat on his wife once married. The fact, unknown to many, is that those men who have had tremendous access to beautiful women when they were single are likely to be the most faithful husbands. For them, there is really nothing to explore again after they are married.

But making a decision could be very very difficult. And why is that? Because a truly sophisticated man understands the meaning of marriage. He understands that his wife would be an equal partner and that he would not be allowed to cheat on her. Because marriage is such a big commitment to them, they are usually slow to make the decision. But my friend did eventually make a decision. I had seen him in the past with extremely beautiful and talented women when he was single. But he gave it all up. I envied him.

Today in an inbox, my friend teased me. He said he noticed a lot of beautiful women who are my friends on Facebook. I admitted that and we began to talk about his case. In fact, his wife just gave birth to a beautiful baby. I told him how slow and scared I have been to make a decision, even though I believe I am about to. He encouraged me. I told him my worst fears about marriage – the possibility of creating a widow who would have to struggle without me. I told him I don’t want to make anyone a widow, and that I just don’t know what I am going to do about it. I told him that in making my choices, I must consider who would be able to survive as a widow in a hostile environment.

Further, I explained to my friend that I did not have the money to ensure that if my wife were to become a widow soon, I would be able to provide any protection for her economically and the children. I told him that I had lost all my money in my fight against the Nigerian Government, which is not yet over. And my friend wrote back as follows:

“You are a smart and resourceful lawyer, you will turn another corner of massive wealth soon. This is Nigeria. You should look for a woman pretty enough to intrigue you and smart enough to counsel you in certain matters, while catering for you at home as a true great woman. The rest I believe will be taken care of by God”

I was stunned by the words of my friend. He certainly has an extraordinary power to convey meanings. “…a woman pretty enough to intrigue [me] and smart enough to counsel [me] in certain matters…” That is it – pretty enough to intrigue me and smart enough to counsel me.

I think from the above, I found the definition I have been looking for for my woman. She is intriguing and brilliant.

Just sharing a very personal thought with my friends. I really wanted to be intrigued and that was what informed my choice”

This is simply splendid!

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